It can be very difficult for friends and family to understand self-injurious behaviour. However, it is important that they try not to make negative remarks and accept that the behaviour is a way for the person to cope with difficult feelings. It can be very distressing to discover that a loved one is self harming but it is vital that you mask your shock and or fearful reactions because the person is then unlikely to ask you for support if they think it will course you distress.

However if you are accepting of the person then you can be a valuable source of support by giving them the opportunity to talk about their feelings without fear of judgement. It is also important to accept that the person may not want your help with regard to self harm and in this case you must respect their privacy. Where the individual seems willing to accept your help then it is important to be clear on exactly what support they would like from you. Sometimes just being there can help reduce self harm. Firstly because you are available if they want to talk and secondly, because harming behaviours most frequently appear when the person is alone.

Do not try to prevent the self harm from occurring by trying to lay down rules. You must remember that no one wants to hurt themselves but this is the only way in which they can deal with the painful emotions they are experiencing. If the person is forced to stop the self harming behaviour without having another coping mechanism to fall back then it is possible they may attempt to take their own life.